Monday Marriage Musings

Now that I have been married for a year, two months, and fourteen days, I am officially qualified to spew out unsolicited marriage advice.

Meagan Jepson Photography

HA! Just kidding. I hate unsolicited marriage advice. That is, I hate it coming from people who are no more qualified to teach a marriage seminar than I am to run a restaurant. Sure, I've had a little bit of experience, but not enough to confidently share my wisdom with other folks. Pretty much I think the only people really qualified to give me advice on my nuptials is elderly people who have been married for 50+ years. Well, and our parents. Because they're awesome.

However, before you go telling everyone that Brenda and Ian have a perfect marriage and don't need any advice, allow me to clarify. There is a HUGE difference between 'advice' and having people to share your experiences with. Finding other friends who are married when we moved to Virginia has been the best thing that could happen to us as we navigated the first year of marriage and beyond. There is something great about having girlfriends to hang out with who are also figuring out what it means to live with your best friend who you love with all your heart but can drive you crazy when you need some alone time. It's comforting to know that your marriage isn't doomed if sometimes you don't really talk when you eat dinner, or worse, if you eat dinner in front of the TV. Having someone who understands that a strong drink is just what you need after a failed home inspection of the house you thought for sure you were going to buy.

I love having people in my life who are going through the same things that Ian and I are, but at the end of the day, if there is any unsolicited advice you were looking to take away from this post, the most important thing I think I have finally learned to do is to let go of any marriage expectations that I develop from reading blogs, watching movies, and hearing my friends talk. I've learned to just do whatever feels right, and if doesn't feel right, have a meltdown and try something else. 

Example: maybe we should have gone to church on Sunday, but instead we decided to take advantage of the crisp Fall morning with a walk around the lake. And then, when it got too hot, tied our sweatshirts around our waists. It just felt right.


  1. I LOVE this post! It is so true that you have to throw out your expectations and just go with the flow. I wish I had more married friends but most of my friends are single.

    The Tiny Heart
    Sept. Group Giveaway!

  2. Sweatshirts around the waist-I love it! I feel like I haven't done that in ages. So stylish dahling!! It's so true-your marriage certainly isn't doomed b/c it's not perfect and you don't have deep conversations at dinner time every night. Sometimes you get that feeling about how things 'should' be when in reality how they are is probably just fine.

  3. i love this post! and it's so true...i never give out parenting advice, either...unless someone asks me. it just brings on resentment!! i'm glad you had a great weekend!

  4. The only perfect marriages live in imagination.

  5. This was a really sweet post. It's all about the little things that make up day to day life :)

  6. I loved this post :) And I totally agree about the unsolicited marriage 'advice' - we've gotten a lot of that as newlyweds.

    Sadly we don't have any married friends, but I can see how that would be really important during the first year when you're finding your footing. Hopefully we can meet some married couples soon who understand the frustrations and joys of it all :)

  7. Sweet and so true. There is no such thing as a perfect marriage. I like the meltdown and start over. I am still contemplating cleaning up his spilled oatmeal on the stove that is now dry and crusty from this morning. Ugh. I cleaned the kitchen yesterday! Where is that drink? Great post, Mrs. dawn suitcase vignettes xo

  8. "...and if doesn't feel right, have a meltdown and try something else." Yes x 1000. :)

  9. Ha! Great first sentence! I've been married more than 6 years now and we are still figuring out a few things. I think that's totally natural as we all change and grow. I love your wedding photos!


Leave a comment and I'll bake you cookies. Maybe.

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...